IwasremindedofamanIknew,whosechildhoodhadbeenovershadowedbythefactthat,agedeight,hehadbeendispatchedtorelativesinthecountry,whilehismotherunderwenttreatmentforcancer.Tosparetheboy,nothingwassaidaboutthecauseforhisremoval.
Hesufferedthroughmanyweeks,assumingthathemusthavedonesomethingterribletoforfeittherighttohishomeandtohisparents’love.Evenafterhegrewupandgothisfactsstraight,thefeelingofrejectionpersisted.
It’sstaggeringtothinkthat,evenaswespeak,countlesslivesandrelationshipsarebeingruinedbyvirulent,destructivefeelingsgeneratedbypuremisconceptions.
Ifonlyeveryoneensuredthattheywereproperlyinformedbeforeallowingafeelingtotakeroot,theworldwouldn’tbefulloffoolsbarkingupthewrongtree!
Thedoor-bellrang.Afriendwalkedin,paleandshattered.Darkringsunderred-rimmedeyes,lipsquiveringfromrestrainedemotion.“She’s
leftme,”hewhispered,asifexpectingthewordstohurt.“Afterfourteenyearsofanidealmarriage,she’suppedandleftme.”
Icouldn’thelpthinkingofhiswifetellingmeinconfidencethatthemarriage,toher,wasaprison:alockedcell,stiflingandrestrictive;noaccesstodaylightorfreshair.“Ishallhavetobreakout,”shehadstatedcalmly,“orelsegounder.”
“Iloveher,”hesaidbrokenly.“Sincethedaywemet,I’veonlylivedforher.Mylifewasdedicatedtoherwelfare.Withouther,Ihavenothing.”
Itcrossedmymindthatthisdegreeofspousaldevotionseemstocomemorenaturallytomen.Iwonderifitstemsfromanunconscioushankeringbacktotheblessedstateofinfancy,whenalltheirrequire-mentswerefilledbyabountifulmadonna,whoaskedfornothingbutsubmissioninreturn.
“Coulditbe,”Iventuredcarefully,inanattempttohelp,ifnotcomfort,“thatyourrelationshiphasbeenbasedonyourneedsmorethanhers?”